Both my mother and significant other made similar projections that 2012 was going to be a wonderful year. My mom is an eternal optimist so her rosy outlook was nothing new, but my boyfriend's happy predictions were a welcome surprise. As we all know, life has its ups and its downs, and at some points you get yourself so lost that you can hardly tell the difference. As my own worst critic, I know how impossible the pressures of life can feel; how daunting and never ending. I know what it feels like to self-doubt incessantly; to dare to disappoint those you love the most by following your gut and your heart.
A little over a year ago I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I chose to veer off of what had been my lifelong course. I was sad, confused and frustrated. My heart was telling me to abandon ship, abandon this dream that had never truly been mine in the first place. It told me to be brave and seek out something that I knew in my bones to be right. Most importantly, it told me to stop fretting about disappointing those I love because the only person I should worry about disappointing... is myself.
It was in those dark hours that I realized I would rather risk failure than spend my entire life on a path that I would constantly have to justify, because my heart wasn't in it.
That was when my most recent journey began; the end of 2010 and beginning of 2011. Now a mere year later I find myself presented with a wondrous opportunity, unlike anything I would have anticipated. Everything about it feels right, and I no longer feel as if I'm lying to myself. It's a whole new chapter; another journey. The comfort that accompanies this knowledge is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced.
In celebration of this accomplishment, my boyfriend and I went out for a romantic dinner at the Livingston restaurant in the Georgian terrace. The night was nothing short of remarkable, and my handsome partner was the perfect gentleman.
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Blouse, Blazer & Skirt: Forever 21 / Heels: Nine West |
I really can't think of a better time to share my resolutions for the New Year:
1. Be more patient with myself; with everything.
2. Learn to enjoy the journey.
3. Stretch for at least 10 minutes every day.
4. Complete Slim in 6 within the assigned time frame! (<-- workout regiment)
5. Speak to my nephew and younger sister more.
6. Center myself at least 3 times per week; whether through meditation, singing, yoga, or self reflection. (I need to make an effort to not lose touch with myself. It has been a real challenge lately.)
7. Stop
needing drinking coffee in the morning. (<--- I've already accomplished this. Much credit is due to my man...yo.)
Sometimes in life one must take huge risks if they wish to see great rewards... personal rewards that is. My hope for all of you, and for myself, is that we may all begin to see these challenges and risks as exciting new prospects, as opposed to potential opportunities to fail. The latter mentality does absolutely nothing for you, other than inflict corrosive self-doubt! Thinking in such a manner won't make you any wiser or spare you from falling flat on your face. It will only hold you back. As I consciously embark on this new chapter in my life I can offer but one concrete piece of advice: There is no point to self-doubt; it does absolutely nothing for you. Let it go or at least begin to as soon as you can.
I'm going to hop on the bandwagon here and say that I too feel this is going to be a pretty awesome year. :o) I wish the same for all of you.
Til Next Time,
TheFashist